{"title":"Dark Roast","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"foxed-out","title":"Foxed Out: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eFoxed Out is for the days when you have been outsmarted by your own schedule. This dark roast is nutty, toasty, cocoa-rich, and full-bodied, delivering the kind of bold, cozy cup that helps you recover from overthinking, under-sleeping, and saying “quick question” to someone who absolutely did not have a quick question. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is rich and grounded with a sharp little edge of “nice try, day,” perfect for regrouping when your clever plan has turned into a pile of open tabs and mild regret. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: toasty nuts, cocoa, and a deep full-bodied finish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: mental plot twists, complicated days, and outfoxing your own exhaustion\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53831044497776,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53831044530544,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_22_2026_08_18_42_PM.png?v=1779499189"},{"product_id":"playing-dead-premium-dark-roast-coffee","title":"Playing Dead: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePlaying Dead is for when the day walks in, sees you, and immediately starts asking too much.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis dark roast is full-bodied, toasty, and rich with dark chocolate notes, making it the perfect cup for dramatic pauses, emotional disappearing acts, and quietly lying low until the caffeine kicks in. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is bold without being harsh, cozy without being timid, and exactly right for the mornings when “thriving” is unavailable but “brewing coffee and staring into space” is still on the table.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: dark chocolate, toasted depth, and bold full-bodied comfort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: low-social-battery mornings, dramatic coping, and re-entering life one sip at a time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53831046103408,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-BIT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53831046136176,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-BIT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_22_2026_08_15_30_PM.png?v=1779498954"},{"product_id":"nope-premium-dark-roast-coffee","title":"Nope: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eNope is a dark roast with boundaries. Full-bodied, cocoa-rich, and touched with toffee warmth, this cup is for the moment you decide that not every problem deserves immediate access to your peace. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is bold, cozy, and quietly firm, the coffee equivalent of closing a laptop with purpose. Drink it when the group chat is too active, the requests are too many, or the day has developed a tone you do not care for. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: cocoa, toffee, and a bold full-bodied finish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: declining nonsense, protecting your peace, and needing a cup that backs you up\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834229318000,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-FHV-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834229350768,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-FHV-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_25_PM_4.png?v=1779571346"},{"product_id":"do-not-disturb","title":"Do Not Disturb: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDo Not Disturb is for the sacred window between pouring coffee and becoming available to society. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis dark roast is full-bodied, toasty, nutty, and cocoa-rich, with the kind of bold comfort that says, “I saw your message and chose peace.” It is smooth enough to feel cozy, strong enough to set a boundary, and deeply satisfying when the world is already doing too much. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePour a cup, protect your mood, and let everyone else discover patience as a personal growth exercise. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: toasty nuts, rich cocoa, and bold full-bodied comfort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: quiet mornings, boundary setting, and refusing to answer questions before caffeine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834279584112,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834279616880,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_2.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"baddie-era","title":"Baddie Era: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eMade for glossy lips, high standards, and entering your “hotter, calmer, richer” chapter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBaddie Era is what happens when confidence gets caffeine involved. It’s soft-life energy with better boundaries. A blend created for polished routines, bossed-up mornings, and pretending your life is perfectly together because your coffee, skincare, and outfit all matched today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis coffee belongs beside lip gloss collections, gold jewelry, mirror selfies, and playlists titled things like “soft life incoming.” Smooth, elevated, and slightly intimidating in the best possible way, it’s made for girls who romanticize success and refuse to settle for less anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause confidence is a lifestyle. And caffeine helps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTastes Like:\u003c\/strong\u003e compliments you pretend not to care about\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e beauty appointments, solo shopping trips and walking into rooms like you own them\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53840150397296,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53840150430064,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/BADDIE_ERA.png?v=1779831853"},{"product_id":"no-02-dark-roast","title":"No. 02: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted as part of the Ashwood Origins Series, this classic medium-dark roast combines Brazilian richness and Mexican smoothness with notes of rich cocoa, toasted nuts, and a full-bodied finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlavor Profile: Nutty, Toasty, Cocoa\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRatings: Bzl: 83, Mex: 86\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAltitude \u0026amp; Processing: 900-1,750 MASL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrigins: Brazil, Mexico\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mycotoxin Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Heavy Metal Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mold \u0026amp; Yeast Free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53844792443248,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53844792476016,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/Ashwood_Origins_Series_No._02_Dark_Roast.png?v=1780077592"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/collections\/fec8c090-89cd-4383-93e5-4eba21cf04b5.png?v=1779633243","url":"https:\/\/exhaustedeater.com\/collections\/dark-roast.oembed","provider":"Exhausted Eater","version":"1.0","type":"link"}