{"title":"All Coffees","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"foxed-out","title":"Foxed Out: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eFoxed Out is for the days when you have been outsmarted by your own schedule. This dark roast is nutty, toasty, cocoa-rich, and full-bodied, delivering the kind of bold, cozy cup that helps you recover from overthinking, under-sleeping, and saying “quick question” to someone who absolutely did not have a quick question. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is rich and grounded with a sharp little edge of “nice try, day,” perfect for regrouping when your clever plan has turned into a pile of open tabs and mild regret. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: toasty nuts, cocoa, and a deep full-bodied finish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: mental plot twists, complicated days, and outfoxing your own exhaustion\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53831044497776,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53831044530544,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_22_2026_08_18_42_PM.png?v=1779499189"},{"product_id":"fluffed-up","title":"Fluffed Up: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eFluffed Up is comfort coffee with a little bounce. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium roast blends citrus brightness, toffee sweetness, and dark chocolate depth into a cup that feels cheerful, cozy, and emotionally well-groomed, even if you are not. It is the kind of coffee that makes the day seem slightly more manageable, like finding a soft blanket, a charged phone, and five unexpected minutes of silence all at once. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSmooth, friendly, and reliably delicious, it is here to help you fluff yourself back into shape.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: citrus, buttery toffee, and dark chocolate richness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: midday resets, cozy routines, and getting yourself together with minimal drama\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53831044792688,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-RCK-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53831044825456,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-RCK-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_22_2026_08_18_26_PM.png?v=1779499166"},{"product_id":"playing-dead-premium-dark-roast-coffee","title":"Playing Dead: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePlaying Dead is for when the day walks in, sees you, and immediately starts asking too much.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis dark roast is full-bodied, toasty, and rich with dark chocolate notes, making it the perfect cup for dramatic pauses, emotional disappearing acts, and quietly lying low until the caffeine kicks in. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is bold without being harsh, cozy without being timid, and exactly right for the mornings when “thriving” is unavailable but “brewing coffee and staring into space” is still on the table.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: dark chocolate, toasted depth, and bold full-bodied comfort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: low-social-battery mornings, dramatic coping, and re-entering life one sip at a time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53831046103408,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-BIT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53831046136176,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-BIT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_22_2026_08_15_30_PM.png?v=1779498954"},{"product_id":"dig-deep-premium-medium-roast-coffee","title":"Dig Deep: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDig Deep Original is the steady, cozy cup for days when you need to locate your inner adult and convince them to participate. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium roast brings together citrus brightness, toffee warmth, and dark chocolate richness for a balanced flavor that feels both comforting and quietly capable. It is not flashy. It is not fussy. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is just here to help you tunnel through the errands, emails, decisions, dishes, and whatever mysterious task you remembered at exactly the wrong moment. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: citrus, toffee, and dark chocolate in a smooth balanced cup\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: daily motivation, practical chaos, and digging yourself out one mug at a time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834227482992,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-RCK-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834227515760,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-RCK-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_26_PM_6.png?v=1779571346"},{"product_id":"forest-of-feelings-medium-dark-decaf","title":"Forest of Feelings: Medium-Dark Decaf","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eForest of Feelings Original is decaf for people who still want the whole coffee experience, just without turning their emotional support beverage into a sprint. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium decaf is smooth, full-bodied, and dark-chocolatey, with a cozy depth that feels calm, steady, and gently indulgent. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is made for quiet evenings, soft resets, and those tender little moments when you want something warm in your hands while your brain wanders through approximately seven feelings and one grocery list. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: smooth dark chocolate, full body, and mellow comfort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: soft evenings, reflective moods, and coffee lovers who want the ritual without the buzz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834227876208,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834227908976,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_25_PM_3.png?v=1779571346"},{"product_id":"nope-premium-dark-roast-coffee","title":"Nope: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eNope is a dark roast with boundaries. Full-bodied, cocoa-rich, and touched with toffee warmth, this cup is for the moment you decide that not every problem deserves immediate access to your peace. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is bold, cozy, and quietly firm, the coffee equivalent of closing a laptop with purpose. Drink it when the group chat is too active, the requests are too many, or the day has developed a tone you do not care for. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: cocoa, toffee, and a bold full-bodied finish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: declining nonsense, protecting your peace, and needing a cup that backs you up\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834229318000,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-FHV-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834229350768,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-FHV-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_25_PM_4.png?v=1779571346"},{"product_id":"trash-panda-premium-medium-roast-coffee","title":"Trash Panda: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTrash Panda is for the beautiful disaster mornings when you are piecing together breakfast, ambition, and a personality from whatever is available. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium roast is smooth, nutty, and lightly sweet with praline notes, making it cozy enough for comfort and lively enough to make the chaos feel slightly more charming. It is the cup for the resourceful, the snacky, the mildly feral, and anyone who has ever called a handful of crackers “good enough for now.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: nutty praline, smooth body, and cozy sweetness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: messy mornings, creative survival, and making “good enough” taste better\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834231415152,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-SMR-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834231447920,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-SMR-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_25_PM_2.png?v=1779571352"},{"product_id":"squirrely-premium-light-medium-roast-coffee","title":"Squirrely: Light-Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSquirrely is for the days when your attention span has left the building but your to-do list is still making eye contact. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis light-medium roast is savory, smooth, and cocoa-kissed, giving you a cozy, grounded cup that helps settle the mental scurrying without flattening the flavor. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is gentle but useful, warm but not sleepy, and perfect for those moments when you have walked into a room with purpose and immediately forgotten the plot. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: savory cocoa, smooth body, and grounded warmth\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: scattered focus, errand days, and trying to remember why you opened that tab\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834234495344,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-COL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834234528112,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-COL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_24_PM_1.png?v=1779571351"},{"product_id":"hoppin-premium-light-roast-coffee","title":"Hoppin': Light Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eHoppin’ is a bright little lift for days that need momentum but not chaos. This light roast is citrusy, fruity, and easy on the body, with a cheerful flavor that feels like a soft start and a tiny push forward. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is made for mornings when you are moving from task to task, thought to thought, room to room, possibly with no clear plan but a surprising amount of determination. Light, lively, and cozy, it helps you hop into the day without being launched into orbit. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: citrus, soft fruit, and a clean light body\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: busy mornings, cheerful resets, and getting moving without going full panic mode\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834235609456,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834235642224,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_04_21_26_PM_5.png?v=1779571345"},{"product_id":"fawned-out-light-medium-roast-decaf","title":"Fawned Out: Light-Medium Roast Decaf","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eFawned Out is for when your nervous system has submitted a formal complaint. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium decaf is smooth, full-bodied, and rich with dark chocolate notes, giving you the comfort of coffee without asking your pulse to join a marching band. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is soft, grounding, and deeply cozy, made for evenings, slow afternoons, and those moments when you want the ritual more than the rocket fuel. Consider it your gentle little permission slip to enjoy a cup without turning the rest of the day into a high-speed emotional spreadsheet. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: dark chocolate, smooth body, and cozy decaf depth\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: evening cups, caffeine-sensitive days, and wanting coffee comfort without the chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834274767216,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834274799984,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_5.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"dig-deep","title":"Dig Deep: Light-Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSome mornings require emotional excavation. Dig Deep is the cozy little pep talk in your cup for the days when your motivation is buried somewhere beneath laundry, inbox notifications, and the vague feeling that you forgot something important. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis light-medium roast is smooth, comforting, and just serious enough to make you feel like you have a plan, even if that plan is currently just “coffee first, competence later.” \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eWith savory depth and soft cocoa notes, it brings the grounded energy of someone who has accepted the chaos and decided to keep tunneling anyway. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: savory cocoa, mellow smoothness, and quiet determination\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: slow starts, big to-do lists, and pretending you are more organized than you are\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834274996592,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-COL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834275029360,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-COL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_54_PM_6.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"soft-starts","title":"Soft Starts: Light Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSoft Starts is for people who believe mornings should enter gently, preferably wrapped in a blanket and carrying snacks. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis light roast is bright, fruity, and easygoing, with a citrusy lift that feels like opening a window before the day has had a chance to start making demands. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is cheerful without being aggressive, sweet without being precious, and exactly the kind of cup you reach for when you need to become a person slowly and with emotional support. No pressure. No dramatic entrance. Just a soft little nudge toward being awake. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: bright citrus, delicate fruit, and a light, breezy body\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: gentle mornings, slow routines, and easing into the day without being attacked by productivity\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834275586416,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834275619184,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_3.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"hanging-on","title":"Hanging On: Light Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eHanging On is the official roast of “I am technically functioning.” This light roast is bright, fruity, and citrus-kissed, giving you a little lift when you are clinging to the day with both hands and one remaining shred of patience. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is smooth and easy to sip, not too heavy, not too intense, and not here to ask follow-up questions. Think of it as a cozy caffeine branch when life feels loud, your brain has too many tabs open, and you need one small pleasant thing to help you keep going. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: citrus brightness, soft fruit, and a light, clean finish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: overloaded mornings, emotional multitasking, and hanging on until the next quiet moment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834279354736,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834279387504,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_4.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"do-not-disturb","title":"Do Not Disturb: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDo Not Disturb is for the sacred window between pouring coffee and becoming available to society. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis dark roast is full-bodied, toasty, nutty, and cocoa-rich, with the kind of bold comfort that says, “I saw your message and chose peace.” It is smooth enough to feel cozy, strong enough to set a boundary, and deeply satisfying when the world is already doing too much. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePour a cup, protect your mood, and let everyone else discover patience as a personal growth exercise. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: toasty nuts, rich cocoa, and bold full-bodied comfort\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: quiet mornings, boundary setting, and refusing to answer questions before caffeine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834279584112,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834279616880,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_2.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"overcommitted","title":"Overcommitted: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eOvercommitted is for the calendar that looked reasonable when you agreed to everything and now appears to be a cry for help. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium roast is smooth, nutty, and touched with praline sweetness, giving you a cozy little reward for surviving another day of doing too much with suspicious confidence. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is warm, balanced, and easy to love, like the coffee version of finding one clean mug when everything else is in the dishwasher. Sip it while you reschedule, renegotiate, or simply pretend you are not absolutely booked until Thursday. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: nutty praline, smooth warmth, and a sweet little “you’ve got this” moment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: packed calendars, errands stacked on errands, and saying yes before checking your energy level\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834279780720,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-SMR-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834279813488,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-SMR-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_05_15_53_PM_1.png?v=1779574603"},{"product_id":"scavenger-sip","title":"Scavenger Sip: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eScavenger Sip is for those resourceful little mornings when breakfast is questionable, the clean spoon situation is unresolved, and somehow you are still making it work. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis medium roast brings a playful balance of citrus brightness, nutty comfort, and maple syrup warmth, creating a cup that feels cozy, clever, and slightly mischievous in the best way.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt is the roast for finding energy in the scraps of your schedule and turning “this is fine” into something that almost resembles a plan. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day. 🍵\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eTastes like: citrus, toasted nuttiness, and maple-syrup sweetness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBest For: improvised mornings, snack-for-breakfast energy, and making the best of whatever is left\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53834283909488,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-BKT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53834283942256,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-BKT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_06_27_30_PM.png?v=1779578874"},{"product_id":"midnight-muse","title":"Midnight Muse: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eA soft-glam survival blend for late-night ideas, emotional healing, and looking iconic while figuring it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMidnight Muse is for the girls doing shadow work with a silk pillowcase and a full skincare routine. It’s cozy luxury with just enough caffeine to keep the overthinking aesthetically pleasing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade for nighttime journaling, deep conversations, online carts full of things you “deserve,” and deciding your next chapter will be significantly prettier than the last one. This blend feels indulgent, comforting, and quietly powerful; like finally realizing rest is productive too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s not laziness. It’s recovery with better lighting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTastes Like: \u003c\/strong\u003esoft blankets, expensive perfume, and healing in a matching lounge set\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e hot-girl healing, creative spirals, and protecting your peace with precision\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53840150167920,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-BKT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53840150200688,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-BKT-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/MIDNIGHT_MUSE.png?v=1779831983"},{"product_id":"baddie-era","title":"Baddie Era: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eMade for glossy lips, high standards, and entering your “hotter, calmer, richer” chapter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBaddie Era is what happens when confidence gets caffeine involved. It’s soft-life energy with better boundaries. A blend created for polished routines, bossed-up mornings, and pretending your life is perfectly together because your coffee, skincare, and outfit all matched today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis coffee belongs beside lip gloss collections, gold jewelry, mirror selfies, and playlists titled things like “soft life incoming.” Smooth, elevated, and slightly intimidating in the best possible way, it’s made for girls who romanticize success and refuse to settle for less anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause confidence is a lifestyle. And caffeine helps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTastes Like:\u003c\/strong\u003e compliments you pretend not to care about\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For:\u003c\/strong\u003e beauty appointments, solo shopping trips and walking into rooms like you own them\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53840150397296,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53840150430064,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/BADDIE_ERA.png?v=1779831853"},{"product_id":"velvet-frequency","title":"Velvet Frequency: Light Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eMoody, luxe, and impossible to interrupt. 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Eat the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTastes Like: \u003c\/strong\u003emoody playlists, velvet, and expensive taste with excellent boundaries\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For: \u003c\/strong\u003efocus sessions, solo drives, mood resets, and staring dramatically\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53840150495600,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53840150528368,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-HGL-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/VELVET_FREQUENCY.png?v=1779831766"},{"product_id":"plot-twist-energy","title":"Plot Twist Energy: Light-Medium Roast Decaf","description":"\u003cp\u003eA coffee for dramatic reads, expensive taste, and pretending the red flags were “character development.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePlot Twist Energy is for the girls who romanticize everything; the late-night journaling, the oversized sweaters, the candle collection that absolutely counts as therapy, and the coffee that somehow fixes the mood instantly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis blend was made for slow mornings, dramatic playlists, and realizing you were never the side character in your own life. It’s cozy, confident, a little chaotic, and fully committed to personal reinvention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of coffee that belongs next to a half-finished book, an online shopping cart, and a notes app filled with future plans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMain character behavior only.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrink coffee. Eat the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTastes Like:\u003c\/strong\u003e expensive candles, fresh pages, and a suspicious amount of confidence\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest For: \u003c\/strong\u003eglow-ups, soft resets, and dramatically staring out the window\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53840150626672,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53840150659440,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-TRP-BOX","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/PLOT_TWIST_ENERGY.png?v=1779831635"},{"product_id":"no-01-medium-roast","title":"No. 01: Medium Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted as the signature blend of the Ashwood Origins Series, this thoughtfully balanced medium roast combines Brazilian richness, Colombian smoothness, Guatemalan brightness, and Ethiopian complexity with notes of toffee, dark chocolate, and soft citrus.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlavor Profile: Citrus, Toffee, Dark Chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRatings: Bzl: 83, Col: 84, Guat: 85, Eth: 88\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAltitude \u0026amp; Processing: 900-2,100 MASL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrigins: Brazil, Colombia, Guatemala, Ethiopia\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mycotoxin Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Heavy Metal Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mold \u0026amp; Yeast Free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53844768784752,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-RCK-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53844768817520,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-RCK-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/Ashwood_Origins_Series_No._01_Medium_Roast.png?v=1780077704"},{"product_id":"no-02-dark-roast","title":"No. 02: Dark Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted as part of the Ashwood Origins Series, this classic medium-dark roast combines Brazilian richness and Mexican smoothness with notes of rich cocoa, toasted nuts, and a full-bodied finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlavor Profile: Nutty, Toasty, Cocoa\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRatings: Bzl: 83, Mex: 86\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAltitude \u0026amp; Processing: 900-1,750 MASL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrigins: Brazil, Mexico\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mycotoxin Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Heavy Metal Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mold \u0026amp; Yeast Free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53844792443248,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-CSD-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53844792476016,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-CSD-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/Ashwood_Origins_Series_No._02_Dark_Roast.png?v=1780077592"},{"product_id":"no-03-light-roast","title":"No. 03: Light Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted as part of the Ashwood Origins Series, this lively light roast combines Ethiopian complexity, Mexican brightness, and Brazilian smoothness with notes of fresh fruit, soft citrus, and a vibrant finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlavor Profile: Citrus, Fruity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRatings: Eth: 87.5, Mex: 86, Bzl: 83\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAltitude \u0026amp; Processing: 900-2,100 MASL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrigins: Ethiopia, Mexico, Brazil\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mycotoxin Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Heavy Metal Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mold \u0026amp; Yeast Free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53844816363888,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-HGL-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53844816396656,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-HGL-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/Ashwood_Origins_Series_No._03_Light_Roast.png?v=1780077561"},{"product_id":"no-04-decaf-roast","title":"No. 04: Decaf Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted as part of the Ashwood Origins Series, this smooth decaffeinated Indonesian Mandheling delivers earthy richness, herbal depth, and notes of dark chocolate with a full-bodied, low-acid finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlavor Profile: Dark Chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRatings: 83\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAltitude \u0026amp; Processing: 1,200-1,600 MASL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrigins: Indonesia, Mandhelingo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mycotoxin Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Heavy Metal Free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Mold \u0026amp; Yeast Free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Exhausted Eater","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":53844829831536,"sku":"COF-WHB-12O-TRP-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground","offer_id":53844829864304,"sku":"COF-GND-12O-TRP-BOX","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/files\/Ashwood_Origins_Series_No._04_Decaf_Roast.png?v=1780077516"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1016\/6111\/4736\/collections\/ChatGPT_Image_May_23_2026_01_58_41_PM_5.png?v=1780524802","url":"https:\/\/exhaustedeater.com\/collections\/all-coffees.oembed","provider":"Exhausted Eater","version":"1.0","type":"link"}